September 30, 2013

My Mom

My mom.. she was and is my best friend.. I could always talk to her about anything and everything..
For those of you who don’t know yet.. my mom passed away Sept 5th 2013, this year. 
She was diagnosed with stage 4 Lymphoma (cancer) 4 years ago.  The lymphoma was currently under control and was and has been in remission for 3 years now.  In June she started feeling full all the time and started having problems eating.  Well she refused to go to the doctor because she said she knew something was wrong and was determined to be at Chloe’s delivery.  She said she knew they were going to stick her in the hospital and she wouldn’t ever get out. Unfortunately she was right.   

3 days after baby Chloe was delivered (Sept 211) my mom went in the hospital and under went exploratory surgery and a hysterectomy.  She was in for about a week and came home.  She was not well enough to come home at all but they let her come home to be with Chloe and II.  It was very hard not being able to leave Chloe and go see my mom in the hospital.  She was home and out the hospital for about 5 days. Not even a whole week.  August 5th my dad said enough is enough, you have to go back into the hospital.  You are not well. You cant eat, your too weak, you can barely walk etc.  I knew something very bad was wrong. 

She underwent many many tests and 1 round of super aggressive chemo.  She was diagnosed with Signet Ring Cell Metastic Stomach Cancer. This basically means the cancer had spread throughout her entire abdomen.  The scary part is too that this all occurred within 3 months.  She had a routine pet scan in April and was clear.  And started showing these signs in late June early July.  Her 1 round of chemo was 5 days long. 24 hours a day.  I had never seen her so miserable. It was almost unbearable to watch. She was in so much pain.  She was in ICU for about 3 weeks.  The 4th week we moved her to the oncology floor.  Where she stayed for 1 more week.  Throughout that month we would have 1 nurse tell us we need to call in hospice, there is no hope etc.  Then we would talk to her oncologist and she would say don’t do that yet. Give the chemo a chance etc.  We went back and forth with doctors for an entire month.  I knew how stressed I was, I couldn’t even imagine how my mom felt.

September 4th I was suppose to go see my mom with my dad. I had arranged for my aunt to watch baby Chloe for me already.  My dad gets to my house and says we need to go now, totally freaking out.  I told him you need to tell me what is going on. I can handle it.  He told me she aspirated and wasn’t breathing well, we need to get there Now.  Basically I made a hour drive in 30 minutes to get to her.  Basically when we got there, I don’t even know if she knew who I was.  She was so out of it from all the chemo, and pain, and cancer.  It was awful to watch.  To watch someone you love so much suffering is horrible. 

We transported her to hospice that afternoon and had my aunt bring baby Chloe so she could hold her one last time.  I asked mom and she told me a couple of times she knew she was holding her. THANK GOD.  That is the number 1 thing I kept praying for, for mom to hold baby Chloe one more time.

She was passed away the next day, Sept 5th at 12:17 pm.

September 28, 2013

2 Months Old

My little love bug turned 2 months old this past week.  So bitter sweet.  She is growing up way too fast.

Lets recap...
 1 Week
2 Weeks

3 Weeks

4 Weeks

 1 Month old
5 Weeks

6 Weeks
7 Weeks

8 Weeks
9 Weeks
 2 months old
10 Weeks