My mom.. she
was and is my best friend.. I could always talk to her about anything and
everything..
For those of
you who don’t know yet.. my mom passed away Sept 5th 2013, this
year.
She was
diagnosed with stage 4 Lymphoma (cancer) 4 years ago. The lymphoma was currently under control and
was and has been in remission for 3 years now.
In June she started feeling full all the time and started having
problems eating. Well she refused to go
to the doctor because she said she knew something was wrong and was determined
to be at Chloe’s delivery. She said she
knew they were going to stick her in the hospital and she wouldn’t ever get
out. Unfortunately she was right.
3 days after
baby Chloe was delivered (Sept 211) my mom went in the hospital and under went
exploratory surgery and a hysterectomy.
She was in for about a week and came home. She was not well enough to come home at all
but they let her come home to be with Chloe and II. It was very hard not being able to leave
Chloe and go see my mom in the hospital.
She was home and out the hospital for about 5 days. Not even a whole
week. August 5th my dad said
enough is enough, you have to go back into the hospital. You are not well. You cant eat, your too
weak, you can barely walk etc. I knew
something very bad was wrong.
She underwent
many many tests and 1 round of super aggressive chemo. She was diagnosed with Signet Ring Cell
Metastic Stomach Cancer. This basically means the cancer had spread throughout
her entire abdomen. The scary part is
too that this all occurred within 3 months.
She had a routine pet scan in April and was clear. And started showing these signs in late June
early July. Her 1 round of chemo was 5
days long. 24 hours a day. I had never
seen her so miserable. It was almost unbearable to watch. She was in so much
pain. She was in ICU for about 3 weeks. The 4th week we moved her to the
oncology floor. Where she stayed for 1
more week. Throughout that month we
would have 1 nurse tell us we need to call in hospice, there is no hope
etc. Then we would talk to her
oncologist and she would say don’t do that yet. Give the chemo a chance
etc. We went back and forth with doctors
for an entire month. I knew how stressed
I was, I couldn’t even imagine how my mom felt.
September 4th
I was suppose to go see my mom with my dad. I had arranged for my aunt to watch
baby Chloe for me already. My dad gets
to my house and says we need to go now, totally freaking out. I told him you need to tell me what is going
on. I can handle it. He told me she
aspirated and wasn’t breathing well, we need to get there Now. Basically I made a hour drive in 30 minutes
to get to her. Basically when we got
there, I don’t even know if she knew who I was.
She was so out of it from all the chemo, and pain, and cancer. It was awful to watch. To watch someone you love so much suffering
is horrible.
We transported
her to hospice that afternoon and had my aunt bring baby Chloe so she could
hold her one last time. I asked mom and
she told me a couple of times she knew she was holding her. THANK GOD. That is the number 1 thing I kept praying
for, for mom to hold baby Chloe one more time.
She was passed
away the next day, Sept 5th at 12:17 pm.
My heart breaks for you and your loss. I am so sorry! It's bittersweet that you have the memory of your Mom holding Chloe for the last time. I know it's precious, but it's something I wish you never had to handle/remember. So glad she got to hold your baby girl again! I'm praying for you and your family!
ReplyDeleteI was crying as I was reading this post. I wish I could say I don't understand, but unfortunately I do. My mother passed away 2 years ago and my baby girl will grow up not knowing her Gramma. And my nephew passed away from lymphoma when Kimber was 2 months old. Like you, I was so happy that he was able to meet & hold Kimber before he passed away. My thoughts & prayers go out to you and your family during this extremely difficult time.
ReplyDeleteSo a sorry for your loss, Samantha. Your mom was a wonderful lady.
ReplyDeleteSo glad she got to hold Chloe one more time.
My thoughts and Prayers go out to you and your family.
It just breaks my heart, Samantha. I am writing this through my tears. I'm so glad she got to hold the baby. I'm keeping you in my prayers. I know you'll share lots of special stories with Chloe as she grows up. Your mother was a special angel and now she can be a special angel watching over you and Chloe. All of my love, Diane
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your loss...but seeing your baby being born was a wonderful gift for your mom. She knows you will be a great mom...
ReplyDeleteReading this just reminds us how precious life is. Your daughter will not only have the beautiful story's that I'm sure you will tell her about her grandmother, but she will also have grandmother watching over her. My heart hurts for you and my prayers go out to you and your dad. God bless you all and your precious baby.
ReplyDeleteWarm hugs,
Pat
Samantha, I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. I've followed her blog for quite some time and knew something must have been wrong when she went so long without blogging. My thoughts and prayers for you and your Dad. I'm sure it was a special moment with your Mom holding baby Chloe. Your Mom was a very talented lady that loved her family and friends and I'm sure she will be missed. I will miss her too.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your mom, Samantha. I have been a blog follower for many years and wondered about the absence of her blog. I know how hard it is to watch your mom die of cancer and feel so helpless to be able to stop the cancer or the pain as I watched my mom die of ovarian cancer. One minute I would wish for her passing just so she wouldn't be in pain anymore and the next I would want her to try anything she could to live. What a roller coaster of a ride. I am just so glad she got to meet and hold precious Chloe. I'm just so sorry for you that she won't be there to enjoy your daughter with you but know you have a special angel looking after her. Keeping your family in my heart and prayers.
ReplyDeleteSusan